Sean is the last one everyone thinks of; like he’s some sort of heartless man who doesn’t love his family. He never gets to talk more than five minutes with Aaron and he’s sure Spencer must be a pile of nerves and sadness.
However, he’s in New York and he doesn’t have the nights of crying and mourning. He doesn’t have any pictures and it’s killing him to no end the fact that he someday will erase from his memory that little face, that smile, those eyes…
It’s not fucking fair!
He tries to smile at the restaurant, he flirts with the ladies and he looks like nothing happened. When he’s in public.
He’s a crying mess when he’s left alone to his toughts.
“Are you drunk?” he can tell from the hoarse voice and the soft and erratic rythm of the words.
“Don’t lie to me, Aaron. I know you better than you think.”
“I’m not drunk, Sean.” he assures him, and this time the voice is firmer and it’s meant to convince him. Sean doesn’t buy it, he knows this is the worst thing a parent can ever imagine; and Aaron is facing it. “What do you want?” he finally asks.
The phonecall goes downhill from there.
It’s almost funny how no-one tells him “I’m sorry for your lost.” and everyone goes “You need to help your brother.”
He understands it, ok? He really does. But he fucking lost Jack too, even if he wasn’t there as much as he wanted; he lost his nephew, thank you very much for your consideration.
The next few times he calls the answer machine is all he hears. He’s pissed off, yes. And he’s lonely and terrified and fuck his brother and the family Sean doesn’t feel he has.
Some mornings he pretends Jack is still alive, that he will see the little boy when he goes back to Quantico. Some nights he prays for his soul, even when he’s sure Jack’s in heaven now.
Sean never did that, never prayed, never hid the truth from himself. But this? This is unbearable. And for god’s sakes how does Aaron go to work every day without falling apart? How do they keeping living?
Sometimes Sean is convinced this is a nightmare. Sometimes he thinks about all the things he should have done with Jack.
“He won’t answer the phone?” he asks and Spencer’s voice trembles.
“Uhm, sorry.” it’s all the genius says. Sean wants to force Aaron to talk to him but it won’t happen now, he knows it. “There’s something I can help you with?”
“Is he ok? Does he keep drinking?”
The silence gives him the creeps. There’s too much silence.
“He’s doing the best he can, Sean. But it’s hard, so hard. And… yes, he keeps drinking.” he finally admits.
“You should go.”
“You should go. Make yourself happy. This is gonna destroy you if it hasn’t happened already. You’re young and maybe that will shake Aaron up enough to see around.”
“Are you… are you saying that I should leave your brother? …now?”
“I’m only saying…” but Spencer hungs up before he can finish.
And then one day, he can’t take it anymore. So Sean stops calling and directly knocks on his brother’s door.